Silver Jews - Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea

Silver Jews
Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea (2008)
Drag City

With Silver Jews front man and main songwriter David Berman recently dissolving the band on his Internet message board, I thought this was an appropriate time to review their latest album, which I picked up around Christmas, Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea.

I didn’t know much about the Silver Jews before I purchased this; I had never heard anything they’ve produced before this. But numerous strong reviews I saw on various indie-rock websites coupled with a connection to one of my favorite rock acts, Pavement (Stephen Malkmus of Pavement was a founding member of the Silver Jews), led me to give this record a shot.

I must say I’m glad that I did. A relationship to Pavement can be a mixed blessing. Every Pavement record has several outstanding songs, but I often find their records uneven and some of the songs downright abrasive and un-listenable. With Pavement, you take the bad with the good, and though the good is always well worth the struggle, it can be trying to slog through the mud to get there.

Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea, however, is strong all the way through. Each song blends nicely into the next, and there are no jarring style contrasts from song to song like you often find on Pavement albums. Songs contain different styles and approaches, but they stay in the same ballpark, allowing the album to flow easily and freely from one song to another.

The album has a cheerfully odd demeanor about itself. Lyrical subject matter, though wonderfully written and interesting, is still often absurdist poetry. Berman’s lyrical delivery adds to the surreal nature of the record. He sings very deeply, which works well to contrast nicely with the lighter musical tone. It can be a little grating at points (like in the eighth track, “Candy Jail”), but works greatly in “My Pillow is a Threshold” and “Strange Victory, Strange Defeat”, the best song on the album.

In “My Pillow is a Threshold”, Berman’s deep but soft voice glides over the understated guitar work, creating a dream-like atmosphere which obviously fits the song’s title. The lyrics in the song, about the possibilities of life while asleep, are tremendous as well:

“Because the pillow that I dream on,
Leads to some fantastic glory,
It’s a threshold of a world
I can’t ignore.”

A light-heartedness and mellowness permeates the entire record, save for bits and pieces here and there. Some of it is so shiny and bright it will put an actual smile on your face (like the instrumental chorus to “Party Barge”). It’s a sunny record, albeit one you might enjoy a little more if you’re on some type of psychedelic.

The problem with Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea, however, is its staying power. I look at a great album as both a coherent and strong musical compilation, which also contains songs that stand alone and that you’d want to put on individually over and over. This album covers the first part of this equation, but not the second. Each song is good, but they don’t pack enough punch individually to be particularly memorable.

This is a great collection of songs, however, and one that provides cause to look into the rest of their output. Absolutely recommended.

B+

John Lacey

The Random Ten #4

(This edition of the Random Ten is written by Mike Keefe, another new member of our writing troupe. Mike will be adding content in various areas for the Musicarium, beginning with this column! Enjoy, and please comment below if you like [or hate] what you see or send a message to us at themusicarium@yahoo.com.)

The Rolling Stones- "Star Star"- Goats Head Soup (1973)

Maybe it's because of the peculiar title, maybe it's because of the colossal shadow cast over it by Exile on Main Street, but Goats Head Soup could very well be the best Stones album you've never heard of. This song, originally entitled "Starfucker"—which is the song's chorus, mind you—contains the most vulgar lyrics Mick Jagger ever put on record. "Some Girls" is its only rival in this department ("Black girls just wanna get fucked all night/ I just don't have that much jam") but this tune's got it beat by a mile. The filthiest lines: "And lead guitars and movie stars/ Get their tongues behind your hood"; "Your trick with fruit was kinda cute/ I bet you keep your pussy clean." Personally, I prefer the more subtle lyrical approach of "Under My Thumb." By 1973, however, that approach was of a bygone era. Nonetheless, this song rocks as hard as anything on Exile. Jagger voice starts off evenly but grows angrier and more impatient as he delves deeper into his foul harangue. The interplay between Keith Richards and the indomitable Mick Taylor is first-rate. Charlie Watts and Bill Wyman are propulsive, taut. Though I'm sure fans of Brian Jones would disagree, the lineup on this record is the greatest incarnation of the greatest rock and roll band. Their recorded output prior to this album—Let It Bleed, Sticky Fingers, Exile on Main Street—released consecutively—is equaled (surpassed?) in magnitude by one other group: the Beatles. Goats Head Soup is hardly their most beloved album, and it contains only one of their most beloved tunes ("Angie"), but it is, nevertheless, the Stones at their gritty best.

George Harrison- "Ballad of Sir Frankie Crisp (Let It Roll)"- All Things Must Pass (1970)

Two words come to mind: regal, glorious. The song moves along leisurely. The piano pushes and the drums pull back. The piano literally rolls. The sound is lush and layered, courtesy of accused murderer Phil Spector. Sir Frankie Crisp was, apparently, the original proprietor of Harrison's mansion.

Outkast- "Da Art of Storytellin (Part I)"- Aquemini (1998)

Too often, popular rap music is empty and insipid; lyrically and musically shallow. Outkast, on the other hand, always comes off as being fresh and clever.

Arcade Fire- "In The Backseat"- Funeral (2004)

I got into Arcade Fire via Neon Bible, which I really like. It's not perfect, but it's very good—my very thoughts about the John Kennedy Toole novel of the same name. "In the Backseat" closes out Funeral. It seems a bleak song, but I suppose that's up for interpretation. It says a lot by saying very little, kind of like a Hemingway short story, so I enjoy that. I'm not being a chauvinist when I say that I prefer Win Butler's vocals to his wife's. Overall, I think the song works better in the context of the album.

Pearl Jam- "Garden"- Ten (1991)

If you had to name debut albums that were both the best work of their respective bands and rock classics, what would those albums be? I can think of only three: Led Zeppelin I, Appetite for Destruction and Ten. My inclination is to say that "Garden" is an underrated track, but that would be distorting the real situation. Yes, it is true that it is not as well known to the uninitiated masses as, say "Jeremy," "Alive" or "Black," but every single song on this album is an absolute monster. Mike McCready pours every ounce of himself into the solo. His sound is pure Hendrix and SRV.

Martha Reeves and the Vandellas- "Jimmy Mack"- Watchout (1967)

Holland-Dozier-Holland. What more needs to be said? You can't help but move. Tap a foot, a finger, something. The vocal delivery is cool and effortless. The best moment might be in the fade out when Reeves sings, "I'm not getting any stronger/ I can't hold on very much longer/ Jimmy Mack when are you coming back?" There is a barely detectable pause before she sings "coming back." Is it hesitation? Perhaps she's reconsidering the fellow who "talks just as sweet as" Jimmy? Or maybe Reeves was just on her fiftieth take? In the world of perfection that is all recordings Motown, it is a very human moment.

Warren Zevon- "Poor Poor Pitiful Me"- Warren Zevon (1976)

Zevon had a sense of humor. Who else would sing despairingly about getting too many girls: "These young girls won't let me be." Here's the best and most sardonic line of all: "She really worked me over good/ She was a credit to her gender." Listen for the baritone sax coming out of the right channel.

Buster Brown- "Fanny Mae"- 41 Original Hits from the Soundtrack of American Graffiti (1973)

One of the many gems on this compilation. Buster Brown, born Wayman Glasco, hit #1 on the charts in April 1960 with this, the tune he is best known for. It is a plea to his woman from a man who has been down on his luck: "Fanny Mae, baby won't you please come home/ …I ain't been in debt baby since you been gone." It's a simple blues that ambles along in no hurry whatsoever. The Wolfman Jack segments ruin this album. I only care about hearing the songs.

Neil Young and Crazy Horse- "Crime in the City"- Weld (1991)

This song is originally off Freedom (1989). Young claims to have permanently damaged his hearing while mixing this album. Listen to this song and you'll hear why. It is simply overpowering; an absolute aural onslaught. Neil backed by the Horse may be the most formidable live force in rock music. They are loud, oftentimes messy. They are deadly serious and in your face.

Radiohead- "All I Need"- In Rainbows (2007)

In Rainbows is the best Radiohead album since OK Computer. Unlike many music-conscious members of my peer group, I do not think Kid A is the be all and end all of modern music. Kid A was some kind of achievement and there are certainly interesting ideas, musical and otherwise, on the record. But occasionally, the songs become subservient to ideas and are summarily lost in the sonic wilderness. Recently, I caught some of "Which One's Pink?" a Pink Floyd documentary airing on VH1. At one point, Roger Waters, commenting on Floyd's pre-Dark Side era, said that he looks back on that period as the band "serving its apprenticeship"; the eccentricity and experimentation that went into albums like A Saucerful of Secrets, Ummagumma, Atom Heart Mother, and Meddle were integral steps in honing the sound and vision that characterizes Dark Side and the albums that followed it. It might be strange to think that Radiohead, a band that had achieved a considerable degree of commercial and critical success by the time of Kid A, would have to "serve an apprenticeship," but I think that might be the best way to characterize what they have been doing since OK Computer. On In Rainbows, Radiohead get back to making songs. The sounds are still diverse, but they are always complementary to the song and overall artistic vision of the album; they are no longer ends in themselves. At the end of this track, when he sings "It's all wrong/ It's all right," it's classic Thom Yorke.

Mike Keefe

Sleeve Goes to da Movies! 1/26/09

(Ed. Note: This article is written by special correspondent Brian Shortsleeve, a faithful film viewer who will write up his thoughts on the latest Hollywood releases every few weeks. Brian is a big fan of Michael Douglas and RATT.)


Much like in the sports world, it’s hard to argue that there is a better time of the year for the world of cinema then we are in right now! The Oscar nods are out, the buzz for the summer blockbusters is starting to build, and what better place to be in this freezing cold weather than a nice warm movie theatre with some of your best friends and a big tub of popcorn!


The Oscar nominations were announced last week, the Screen Actors Guild awards were last night, and with the NFL taking a week off before the big game, I had a chance to catch not one, but TWO absolutely fabulous films this weekend! A little bit about those, and Sleeve's thoughts on the Oscar nods to follow.


On Saturday, I was lucky enough to get a chance to screen Darren Aronofsky's The Wrestler. There has been a lot of hype for this one, especially for Mickey Rourke's lead role as Randy "The Ram", a washed up professional wrestler attempting a comeback in both his career and his personal life. After sitting through the film, I must say, this film is worth the hype! Rourke gives a powerhouse performance, as does his love interest, previous Academy Award (Best Supporting Actress, My Cousin Vinny) winner Marisa Tomei. The film is heart-wrenching at times; it is very emotional and can be extremely depressing, however it is a terrific achievement and another great entry for Aronofsky (Pi, The Fountain). Rourke and Tomei are both up for Oscars. I think Rourke has a very good shot at winning his first statue, but he will face some stiff competition from previous winner and critic's darling Sean Penn, for his role in Milk. Anyway, I give The
Wrestler a very high recommendation. It’s certainly not the feel-good movie of the year, but its must-see material as far as I am concerned.


Grade: A


On Sunday, not having a full day of football for the first time in a few months, and seeing there are about 8 movies out there I need to see, I figured I would knock another one off the list. I caught the 4:20 showing of Sam Mendes' Revolutionary Road. It reunites Titanic co-stars Leo DeCaprio and Kate Winslet, as a struggling young married couple in the 1950's. Leo plays Frank Wheeler, a young, handsome businessman. Winslet stars as his wife April, an aspiring actress who is watching her dreams slip away as they settle into their suburban lifestyle. The film is emotionally on fire. The performances by the 2 leads are absolutely astounding. The fact that neither got an Oscar nod, and the fact that the film was not nominated for best picture is borderline criminal as far as I am concerned. This is a fantastic film. Similar to The Wrestler, not exactly the best date movie, but any true fan of the art of cinema should thoroughly enjoy this one. It is beautifully shot (like any Mendes film; American Beauty, Road to Perdition), and I cannot get over the acting performances. Absolutely Hall of Fame material.

Grade: A+

THE OSCAR NOMS ARE OUT! THE OSCAR NOMS ARE OUT!

Let’s talk some Oscars! I haven't seen all of the films/performances nominated yet, so I'll list the 5 major categories and give me EARLY predictions based on reviews and rumors. Over the next few weeks, once I see more of these films, I may revise these picks, but here goes.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role:

Josh Brolin, Milk
Robert Downey Jr., Tropic Thunder
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt
Heath Ledger, Dark Knight
Michael Shannon, Revolutionary Road

Thoughts: I've seen 3 of the 5 performances here. I need to see Doubt and Milk, but I think this goes to Ledger no matter who else is up there. The Academy works in mysterious ways, so I guess it wouldn't shock me if it goes to someone else. Shannon kills in Rev Road, so in any other year he'd probably be my pick, but I think this will be a good tribute to Heath.

Pick: Heath Ledger


Best Actress in a Supporting Role:

Amy Adams, Doubt
Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis, Doubt
Taraji P. Henson, Benajmin Button
Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler

Thoughts: I've seen Button and Wrestler, and even though both were good, I think this goes to Amy Adams based on what I've read.

Pick: Amy Adams


Lead Actress:

Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie, Changeling
Melissa Leo, Frozen River
Meryl Streep, Doubt
Kate Winslet, The Reader

Thoughts: I've only seen Changeling, and I don't think Jolie has any chance. Winslet has been nominated for 6 Oscars and never won, I think the fact that she got nominated for The Reader and not Rev Road says how good she must be in The Reader. I think she takes this one down.

Pick: Kate Winslet


Lead Actor:

Richard Jenkins, The Visitor
Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn, Milk
Brad Pitt, Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler

Thoughts: I've seen The Visitor, BB, and The Wrestler, so I need to see the other 2. I enjoyed The Visitor and I'm pulling for Jenkins, but I think it's a 2-horse race. It should be Penn or Rourke. The Academy LOVES Penn, but everyone loves a comeback! I'm going with Mickey.

Pick: Mickey Rourke


Best Picture:

Frost/Nixon
Slumdog Millionaire
Milk
The Reader
Benjamin Button

Thoughts: I've only seen BB, and that probably won't win. I think its down to Milk or Slumdog, and im going with the underdog!!!

Pick: Slumdog Millionaire


There you have it! I'll be back in a few weeks after I see more of these films with some revised thoughts! Til then, keep your eyes open, your mind fresh, and the popcorn poppin'!


Brian Shortsleeve

The Simpsons Project #3

Simpsons Project Case #3 (Season 1, Episode 3)
Homer’s Odyssey
Original airdate: 1/21/90

Oh, hello! Welcome to another installment of the Simpsons Project, where we take an in-depth look at every Simpsons episode in chronological order, every 1 ½ to 3 weeks! Today, we’ll dissect “Homer’s Odyssey”, the third episode of season one. Though the episode doesn’t establish multiple characters in the family like the first two episodes had done, “Homer’s Odyssey” provides the first starring role for Homer J. Simpson and sews the seeds for the funniest television character, well, ever. So let’s take a look!

The episode begins with Bart and his class being ushered onto the bus for a field trip to the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. We get our first glimpse of Otto, who shows Bart his new tattoo (“Woke up with it this morning,” proclaims Otto). Several tertiary characters are introduced as Bart’s classmates here, including ever-queasy Wendell and Bart’s early season nemeses Sherri and Terri. Bart’s constant troublemaking causes Ms. Krabappel to force him to sing “John Henry was a Steel Driving Man”.

The class arrives at the Power Plant and meets Waylon Smithers, who appears here as a black man for the only time. Smithers rolls a film called “Nuclear Energy: Your Misunderstood Friend”, which is a hilarious send-up of the kind of putrid 50’s “educational” short films routinely skewered on Mystery Science Theater 3000. The Simpsons has always had a knack for making fun of 40’s and 50’s pop-culture dreck like this (other examples include the “Zinc” educational film, "Springfield: City on the Grow", etc.) but that fine tradition gets its start here.

After the film, Bart sees his father riding a motor cart around the plant and yells to get his attention. Homer is distracted, causing him to crash into a pipe and nearly cause a nuclear disaster. He is fired on the spot; coincidentally, by Sherri and Terri’s father. Bart is embarrassed, but Homer is mortified, setting up the plot for the episode.

Homer attempts to look for a job and figure out how to provide for the family, but when his attempts fail, he turns to booze. He visits Moe’s for the first time, and we get our first Moe prank call (the name used is I.P. Freely). Marge re-takes her old job as a drive-in burger joint waitress, and things look bleak for the family. Homer finally reaches rock bottom when he decides to steal Bart’s piggy bank to buy beer (which features a hilarious gag where Homer realizes what he’s doing and feels ashamed, but then double-checks the meager coins to see if there’s enough for the beer). He decides the family would be better off without him, and writes a suicide note.

I remember seeing this and thinking that it was a little dark at the time and it is a little uncharacteristic of early-Homer to contemplate suicide. Homer in modern times is a complete lunatic, but in the early episodes he is a kind hearted family man who just happens to be a little soft. I remember being taken aback by his decision.

Anyway, Homer doesn’t actually go through with it (obviously, because then we wouldn’t have 20 more seasons). His family shows up at the last second, and when they’re nearly hit by a car, Homer saves them and is given a purpose in life: making Springfield’s streets safer. He attends city board meetings and moves to put stop signs and caution signs all over town. Incredibly successful in these endeavors, he decides to take on the biggest health problem in the town, the nuclear plant.

Homer’s title of “Safety Inspector” that he holds for the duration of the series is given to him here. Homer incites a protest at the plant, and Burns decides to squash the rebellion by giving Homer a job, a raise and a promotion. Homer takes the job; on the condition that he tell the throng outside that the plant is safe. When he is unable to do so, Burns actually respects his decision, and hires him back anyway. Homer’s principles remain intact, he does right by his family, and he redeems himself.

This episode has some really great gags and snappy lines in it. It’s not as historically important as the first two, but it’s a great look at what Homer is made of. The show really knew what it was doing right off the bat, with characters being developed rapidly in each episode flawlessly while remaining really funny. Though not as strong as “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” or “Bart the Genius”, another fine early episode.

B+

"Our lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them incompotent boobs." - Homer

John Lacey

Minus the Bear - Highly Refined Pirates

Minus the Bear
Highly Refined Pirates (2002)
Suicide Squeeze

About a year ago, my good friend Brendan put together some data discs for me filled with hundreds of albums of bands he thought I might like. At the time, my interest in indie rock had been recently piqued, and knowing that Brendan had long been into that type of music, I turned to him for guidance. Though I had long listened to more mainstream indie rock acts like Wilco and My Morning Jacket, I had not yet gone deep into that territory.

Brendan provided the CD’s, and one of the first ones I actually listened to all the way through was this gem by Minus the Bear, a band I had never heard before that time. I remember putting it on and being instantly mesmerized, but also overwhelmed; if everything Brendan gave me was this good, I had a lot of listening to do.

The thing about Highly Refined Pirates is that it’s so damn catchy. Nearly everything on this record is a toe-tapper. Interesting guitar parts and synthesizer pieces make way for incredibly memorable bridges and choruses, and then wraps up in an end-of-song explosion that leaves you borderline head-banging. Not only is Highly Refined Pirates highly entertaining, it’s also interesting; there’s a lot going on musically that I hadn’t heard anywhere before.

Allmusic.com’s review of the album mentions the term “math rock” in relation to this album, and I’d say that’s a good way to look at it. Though the human element of the instruments and vocals is certainly evident, the whole thing sounds like it was assembled and spit out by a computer. That’s not to say it sounds like techno music, but it sounds like there’s a non-human ambiance around the whole project that provides a nice dichotomy of sounds throughout the record.

Even the dreaded instrumental-only interstitial material, long overused and poorly done in rock (with ambient sounding drones or other worthlessness) and rap (with embarrassing skits and spoken word material) pays off here. Though interstitial material like this is by definition filler, it’s actually interesting and enjoyable on this record. Some of the songs work with the tracks that they bridge together and sometimes provide for a half-decent song on their own.

For some reason, I really enjoyed the lyrics and vocals on Highly Refined Pirates as well. Perhaps I’m identifying with the twenty-something yearning of the lyrical content. A lot of it comes off as corny, but there are great concepts and ideas buried in the corniness. To wit: in the great (but unfortunately titled) song “Get Me Naked 2: Electric Boogaloo”, vocalist Jake Snider sings the chorus,

“You said, my life’s like a bad movie,
I said, that’s true of all of us
You said, I’ve gotta wake up so fucking early
I said, maybe the director’s turned on us.”

In “Absinthe Party at the Fly Honey Warehouse”, another great song, Snider perfectly conveys the grandiose ideas of a disillusioned young man. In the song, he sings about traveling to Europe with his girlfriend and living the cultured life, complete with “absinthe after dinner”. The tone of the lyrics really works well with the way the compositions are arranged and written.

You may have noticed the relatively silly song titles mentioned above, and they are here in droves. The album features songs like “Monkey!!! Knife!!! Fight!!!”, “Hey, Wanna Throw Up?”, “I Lost All My Money at the Cock Fights”, and “Thanks for the Killer Game of Crisco”. Call me a traditionalist, but I feel like a song title should have some sort of connection to the song. Despite these ridiculous titles, it’s easier to remember which song is which when the song title makes sense in relation to the song. It’s a relatively minor quibble, because in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter what a song is called, but the question would and should be asked by people who don’t know the group: If they don’t take their own songs seriously, why should we?

A-

John Lacey

Film Review: The White Diamond

The White Diamond (2004)

Dir: Werner Herzog

Featuring: Werner Herzog, Graham Dorrington, Marc Anthony Yhap

If you’re familiar with the works of master-director Werner Herzog, you may have previously experienced his take on some of the themes in The White Diamond, his 2004 documentary about an Englishman who wants to fly a helium-filled airship over the South American rainforest. The White Diamond is another Herzog tale of man vs. nature, and its subject is a man driven to extremes to make his ideas and dreams come to fruition.

Englishman Graham Dorrington is an aerospace design scientist and a professor at the Queen Mary University of London. He has always had a passion for things that fly; we learn that he lost two fingers on his left hand as a child when he mishandled a rocket. Dorrington has helped construct an airship in London and intends to ship it to Guyana so he can fly over the rainforest. He talks about the unknown and unexplored jungle canopy and the possible medicinal and scientific breakthroughs that may come from exploring it, but Herzog allows us to be quite sure that he’s not telling us the full reason for the project. Dorrington is a man consumed by his visions, and, we learn, by an accident years earlier.

The White Diamond is like a lot of Herzog films, both fictional and non. He loves to bring us to people who think big and have the courage to follow those ideas, because Herzog himself shares their sentiments. Herzog went deep into the rainforests of Peru to shoot Aguirre: The Wrath of God, and pulled a real steamship over a mountain for Fitzcarraldo. Herzog is a man who refuses to compromise his vision, like Dorrington.

That doesn’t mean it always works. There were a few times in The White Diamond where I paused and asked myself, “Why am I watching this?” The film is beautifully shot and tells and interesting story, but Dorrington’s story doesn’t relate to a fundamental piece of humanity like many of Herzog’s other films. In fact, some of the ways Herzog attempts to explain Dorrington’s adventures are a little ham-fisted and forced. Dorrington has some soliloquies about the death of a colleague in an airship years before, on a similar expedition, but he is a little too self-aware and resistant to Herzog for us to really feel why he is embarking on this mission. We understand why he’s flying over the jungle canopy in a blimp, but we don’t empathize.

Regardless, Herzog’s films are, at best, soul quaking mirrors of human nature, and, at worst, impressive spectacles. Though this film might be a little more of the latter than the former, that doesn’t mean it’s without merit. The images Herzog captures while the airship is flying over the jungle canopy are very beautiful, and the overall story is an interesting oddity which is actually quite engaging.

There is a local man in The White Diamond named Marc Anthony Yhap, who visits the base camp for the expedition and becomes a running character in the film. Though the focus is not on him, he gets the most profound scenes of the film to himself, and carries himself with a mysterious playfulness which the film sorely needs. The only times I felt genuine emotion were during Yhap’s discussions of his long-lost family. Perhaps, if the film was about Yhap and not Dorrington, it would have hit home a little more.

B-

(Ed. Note: In the interest of full disclosure, I originally wrote this in September, but never had an outlet to publish it until now.

At the risk of sounding like a pretentious douchebag, I can credit two people directly with influencing my love of film and really pointing out what a good movie is and should be. The first is Roger Ebert, for having seen pretty much every film ever and writing about each one with great love and skill. The other is Werner Herzog, the director of this film.

Herzog is one of the best directors of all time. Ebert wrote about a Herzog film, Aguirre: The Wrath of God, in his Great Movies book. Shortly thereafter, I sought it out, and was amazed at how succinctly Herzog can look at human nature and translate it into a movie. I had never seen anything like that movie and still haven't.

For those interested, Herzog did a number of collaborations with German actor Klaus Kinski, which are perhaps his most famous (and best) films. The aforementioned Aguirre: The Wrath of God, Nosferatu, and Fitzcarraldo are all Herzog-Kinski collaborations and among the best of his films. To be honest, I haven't seen too much of Herzog's other work, though I intend to watch it all.)

John Lacey

Guns N' Roses - Chinese Democracy

Guns N’ Roses
Chinese Democracy (2008)
Geffen Records

You all know the story by now. Guns N’ Roses pretty much imploded following their overblown touring cycle for their overblown double-albums released on the same day, Use Your Illusion I and II. Axl Rose began working on the follow-up album, the band’s fourth, in 1994, or so the story goes. The album’s title, Chinese Democracy, had been floating around since about 1998. I, personally, thought the joke was in the title – something that will never happen; a complete oxymoron – until the band started performing some of their new songs live at festivals circa 2000. So Axl’s actually writing music, it seemed. I still didn’t think he’d ever finish a whole album’s worth, let alone 14 songs clocking in at well over an hour on a single disc.

So, Axl proved me wrong. “Guns N’ Roses” (let’s be honest, this is not really Guns N’ Roses; it’s Axl and a bunch of hired… uh, guns…) finally got around to releasing the Best Buy-exclusive (dumb move, sales figures have proven) Chinese Democracy in November of 2008. I’d heard live versions of “Madagascar,” “Street of Dreams” and “Chinese Democracy” (the song) on bootlegs from some of their ill-fated tours in 2002 and 2006 and wasn’t terribly impressed, but the quality was pretty low, too. I still didn’t think Axl could put together an album that would actually, you know, rock. I expected overproduced garbage without limitations.

Axl proved me wrong again. Don’t get me wrong, Chinese Democracy has a LOT of extra production happening throughout; however, it also has a LOT of insanely hooky choruses and face-melting guitar work. And really, what else would you expect from an album that was recorded with 4 different people playing lead guitar at different points during the recording process? Does this album sound like a “typical” Guns N’ Roses album? Well, if you think Guns N’ Roses = Appetite for Destruction, then the answer is a resounding “no.” However, if you really think about it, how can you take a band that has released only 3 full-length albums and pigeonhole one “typical” sound in their career? Did “November Rain” sound like “Nightrain”? Did “Get in the Ring” sound like “Sweet Child O’ Mine”? No. What held together the “typical” GnR sound was, generally, Axl Rose’s vocals, and bluesy hard rock songs.

Does Chinese Democracy have some stinkers? You bet. “Shackler’s Revenge” takes a stab at Korn-esque dissonance in the riffing, and the vocals are practically inaudible from all of the extra industrial-tinged distortion. While it boasts a catchy chorus and a kick-ass guitar solo, the song sounds nothing like Guns N’ Roses because the singer sounds nothing like Axl. “Scraped,” one of the band’s attempts to rock like the GnR of old just sounds generic and soulless. However, this album also contains some true gems. “Better” is definitely a polarizing song, and I could go without some of the guitar effects, but at its heart, it’s a great tune. “There Was a Time” is an epic GnR ballad with great guitar solos and awesome vocals. There are a lot of piano-heavy ballads on this album, but surprisingly, those tend to be the better songs.

Where does this album rank in the GnR catalogue? That’s tough to say, because both UYI albums were chock full o’ filler with some amazing songs mixed in. That’s kind of how this album feels, too. Out of the 14 songs, I’d say I’ll revisit maybe 8 of them on a more-than-regular basis, and that’s a lot better than I expected from this album. People say, “It definitely wasn’t worth the 14-year wait,” but I don’t understand that logic. Were you sitting idly for 14 years, listening to no other music whatsoever, hoping that the new GnR would be some mind-blowing experience? If so, you’re an idiot. I don’t take it as a personal slight against me or any other GnR fan that Axl took his time and wanted to get the album out exactly the way he wanted it. Is the man insane? Without a doubt, but that doesn’t mean he’s not still a great songwriter, occasionally, and a great vocalist always.

B-

Matt Steele

The Dailies 1/11/09

Happy New Year! Welcome back to another edition of The Dailies, where I take a look at some of the films I’ve recently seen. Since the last column, I’ve seen four more films, so let’s get down to brass tacks, shall we?

Outside Providence (1999)
Dir: Michael Corrente
Principle actors: Alec Baldwin, Shawn Hatosy, Amy Smart, Timothy Crowe

It’s odd to look at the trajectory of the career of the Farrelly Brothers. Once the undisputed king of raunchy comedies, the Farrelly’s have since released a string of bombs and created a failed FOX television series. They arrived on the scene with Dumb and Dumber, and quickly followed that up with Kingpin and There’s Something About Mary, all three classic 90’s comedies. The aughts, unfortunately for them, haven’t been as kind. Films like The Heartbreak Kid and Stuck On You failed to find an audience, and they nearly ruined the 2004 Red Sox World Series victory by shooting Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore celebrating on the field, in real life, while the Red Sox were celebrating (for their putrid Fever Pitch). I still haven’t gotten over that one.

Outside Providence potentially represents their last half-decent film, at least in the court of public opinion (mine included). Though neither directed the film, they did contribute heavily to its creation and production. It isn’t the usual gross-out gag-fest that their other films are. It’s just fairly funny, fairly sweet, and ultimately forgettable.

The film follows the story of Tim Dunphy, affectionately referred to as “Dildo” by his father, a blue-collar bozo played by Alec Baldwin. “Dunph” is always in trouble and one night gets arrested, and Baldwin has had enough. Dunphy is sent to a private school for his senior year to get his act together.

Along the way, our hero finds true love, learns the value of study and education, and manages to bring his public school sheen of drug-induced coolness to the stuffy private academy. It’s predictable, but it is entertaining. There are some good lines and some decent gags. Nothing prompted me to guffaw, but I chuckled throughout.

Baldwin is definitely the best thing about this movie. He’s a little wooden in his delivery as the working class Rhode Island character, and his interactions with Dunphy (Shawn Hatosy) are borderline embarrassing, but he is funny. He constantly drinks, insults his son and friends, and in general acts like an ass. I enjoyed that.

Outside Providence will capture your attention but not much else. Unfortunately for the Farrelly’s, this makes some of their recent work look like Citizen Kane.

C

Fargo (1996)
Dir: Joel Coen
Principle actors: William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare

Yes, I know, I know. I had never seen this. Sorry. I do love the Coen’s work and I’ve seen most of their other films, but I had never gotten around to their most famous one until recently. I’ve heard from numerous people that this is the greatest film ever, and though it didn’t live up to those lofty heights, this was a very good film.

Most of you have probably seen this, but for those who haven’t: Macy plays Jerry Lundegaard, a car salesman with a fairly big debt on his hands. He’s so desperate for money that he arranges a ludicrous scheme in which his wife will be kidnapped by two morons (Buscemi and Stormare), his father-in-law (played by Harve Presnell) will pay a large ransom, and he’ll use the ransom to pay off his debts. Simple, right?

Of course, absolutely everything goes wrong. The kidnappers are a little more bumbling and a little more violent than Macy might have hoped. A local policewoman (played by McDormand) begins unraveling Macy’s plot. And in the end, Macy’s idiocy costs many people their lives.

Frances McDormand won the Academy Award for Best Actress, which makes sense. She perfectly embodies the small-town, wholesome Minnesotan she plays. Macy is great as the over-his-head and down on his luck mastermind of the operation, while Stormare is cold and ruthless as one of the kidnappers.

The scenery and setting very much played a character in itself. Everything in Fargo is so bleak. After finishing the film, I vowed never to set foot in the Dakotas or Minnesota, which I hope to adhere to. Desolate, ice covered landscapes fill the screen the majority of the time, and they do well to deepen and enhance Macy’s pathetic character. The use of the “Minnesota nice” language and dialogue was so powerful and important to the film that it entered American pop culture. This is definitely a must-see film.

A

The Deer Hunter (1978)
Dir: Michael Cimino
Principle actors: Robert De Niro, Christopher Walken, Meryl Streep, John Savage

I made the mistake of watching Michael Cimino’s 1980 film Heaven’s Gate before I watched this. That film, called one of the biggest flops in Hollywood history, ended up ruining Cimino’s career and bankrupting United Artists. Budgets spiraled out of control and the movie became longer and longer in length. Roger Ebert called it “the biggest cinematic waste I’ve ever seen”. To top all of that off, it really wasn’t very good at all.

I say it was a mistake viewing that film first because The Deer Hunter, directed two years earlier by Cimino, is regarded as a cinematic masterpiece. It won the Academy Award for Best Picture and Cimino won the award for directing. While watching it, though, I couldn’t help but look at it through the lens of Heaven’s Gate. This film is infinitely better, but I went into this looking for hackery and wastefulness on screen. There is evidence here of what will happen in his next film, but for the most part, Cimino is right on target here.

That’s not to say it isn’t extravagant, perhaps needlessly so. The movie runs a shade over three hours long, and as with every Michael Cimino film, there is a ridiculously elaborate dance sequence that lasts about a half an hour long. But Cimino is very, very good at making even the simplest things seem grandiose. There is a small-town wedding at the beginning of the film that is filmed with such precision and beauty that it looks like a Papal procession. Cimino is certainly a gifted filmmaker.

The actors here are terrific too. De Niro is money in the bank in the 70s. He plays Michael, and together with two of his pals (Walken and Savage) decides to enlist in the army and enter Vietnam. Bad move. Before long, in a truly powerful and frightening scene, he and Walken are being made to play Russian roulette against each other for the sport of their Vietnamese captors.

“War is hell” is indeed the motto of this film, but it’s more intelligent than that. The characters are from Clairton, PA, a hellhole of a steel-mill town that looks dreadful to live in. Yet, compared to the horrors the characters face in Vietnam, Clairton looks like a paradise.

One of the fascinating things about The Deer Hunter is seeing the characters live through Vietnam together, whether they actually went there or not. Walken is so traumatized by the experience that he decides it’s a good idea to become a professional Russian roulette player, which sets up the memorable final scene.

It’s long, and there are a couple of dead spots, but this is a terrific movie. It’s a shame that Cimino wasn’t able to properly follow this up, but this isn’t a bad film to have on your headstone.

B+

Gran Torino (2008)
Dir: Clint Eastwood
Principle actors: Clint Eastwood, Christopher Carley, Bee Vang, Ahney Her

I’ve been looking forward to Gran Torino for a while. I’m a big Eastwood fan, especially of his Westerns, where he plays the ultimate badass. With Clint getting on in years (he’s 78), I thought this might be the last chance for me to see him kick a little ass. Though I didn’t necessarily get what I expected (“Geriatric Dirty Harry”), what I got instead was a very tender, very powerful film.

Eastwood plays a newly widowed old man, a racist Korean War veteran by the name of Walt Kowalski. Walt is not an easy man to like. He constantly scowls, groans, and nitpicks. He’s unapproachable and carries himself with an aura of “leave me the fuck alone”.

Kowalski softens, however, when he comes to the aid of the Korean family that moves in next door. Thao Lor (played by Vang) and Sue Lor (played by Her) are being plagued by a Korean gang in the area, and Walt comes to their aid. Soon he’s being showered with gifts from the family, who call him a hero. At first he reacts typically, but eventually he capitulates.

Gran Torino is a borderline comedy. At first, his racist barbs are funny because it’s kind of funny to see an old man act racist in general, because it’s so ridiculous. But later, even after he befriends Thao and Sue, he uses the racist remarks as punch lines, and the kids fire them right back at him. The best pieces of the film are the old man opening up to the young Korean teenagers. Walt gets Thao a job, buys him tools, and even loans him his prized 1972 Gran Torino to go on a date with.

Things get serious, however, when the Korean gang does a drive-by on the Lor family home (in retaliation for Walt kicking one of their asses). Sue is raped and beaten badly, and Thao is struck with a bullet. A local priest, played by Carley, eventually causes Walt to realize that his life has been meaningless, and Walt decides to avenge his past stagnation by helping the kids become free of the gang, by any means necessary. The ending is fantastic.

Though Gran Torino isn’t what I expected, it’s a really good film. We won’t get many more chances to see Eastwood in anything. I urge you to see this.

A-

John Lacey

Musings 1/10/2009

Hi everyone! I just had a quick thought or two that I wanted to jot down so I decided to hop on and do so, right now! I'll be back tomorrow with some new content, and I'm sure Matt and Jon "Hoss" Pitts will as well.

I want to thank anyone who has read the blog to this point, whether you liked it or didn't. Obviously, I'm not expecting this to take off to Deadspin or Onion A.V. Club level proportions, but it is validating when people simply read what you've written. So anyone that's taken the time to do that; thank you.

The main reason for this post is because I recently started receiving the new MLB Network in my cable package. I've been looking forward to this for quite a while. Though I love each of the four major sports for various reasons, baseball takes the cake for me. I enjoy the pace of the game, I like the strategies involved, and in a way, I like how "quaint" the game is. Whereas football is an incredibly fast, violent and ruthless game (which also has its merits, don't get me wrong), baseball is methodical, there's no time limit, and in general, the better team wins each game.

I'm also a lover of history and statistics, and nothing beats baseball for that. The game's been around since the mid to late 1800s, for Christ's sake! There were once professional teams based in Worcester and Providence! Any professional sport that once housed a team in Worcester, Massachusetts, has my undying respect and admiration. And this isn't to mention all of the great players and historic moments in baseball history.

Baseball is the only sport where I'll root for another team because they once had a great player that I've never even seen play before. For instance, watching an NFL game, I wouldn't arbitrarily root for the Steelers because Terry Bradshaw played for them. Who cares? "The Steelers are fucking lame", says I. But in baseball, I'll root for the Giants because Willie Mays and Willie McCovey once played for them. For some reason, that resonates with me.

So to get back to the point of the story, I was anticipating the MLB Network with baited breath. And then I got it. And then I was moderately to incredibly disappointed.

Let me explain. The network is centered around a show called "Hot Stove", which is basically the MLB Network's SportsCenter, at least for right now. Perhaps when the season starts they'll have another nightly recap show, but Hot Stove discusses the daily happenings on the free agent market and so on and so forth. The production is very glossy and professional, but unfortunately the panelists aren't. Harold Reynolds is a professional who once worked for Baseball Tonight until he was fired for groping a lady co-worker's ass, but the rest of the crew has an aura of "I don't really know what I'm doing here". Al Lieter constantly stumbles over his words, and there are a couple of other no-name relievers from the 80's who provide insightful commentary. Though the program does include ample-bosomed former NESN correspondent Hazel Mae, that is easily cancelled out by the recent off-season addition of legendary bonehead Kevin Millar. Overall, this program ain't that good.

MLB Network does have some good going for it. Bob Costas hosts a program (of which there has been one episode so far) that takes a look at legendary performances in the history of the game and has an interview with the person who achieved them. The only episode so far has been a sit-down with Don Larsen wrapped around the airing of his perfect game in the World Series against Brooklyn. Terrific. This is exactly what I'm looking for.

Also, a program called Prime 9 counts down the top nine things on a given show (for instance, top nine center fielders, top nine World Series winners, etc.) An idea that's been done 1,000 times, but list shows are always fairly entertaining.

What I don't like, at least so far, is the actual games being shown on the network. So far they've aired and re-aired (I'm talking nearly every time you turn on the channel) game five of the NLCS last year between the Phillies and Dodgers, and various games of last year's World Series between the Phillies and Rays. Honestly, who cares? No disrespect to the Hoss, who is a big Phillies fan, but we just saw this. How about the 1973 All-Star game? Game 7 of the 1960 World Series? Something different? I imagine we'll get to all that, but it would have been nice to come out of the gate with it.

So overall, the network has great potential and I feel like it will eventually be awesome. But for now, every time I flip over expecting to see Willie Stargell take a dump on a ball, I'm left sorely disappointed.

John Lacey

The Random Ten #3

Welcome to the third edition of the Random Ten with Matt Steele, where I take you on a journey of my iTunes music library via the magic of the "shuffle" button. As I've said before, you'll probably find a majority of metal within my library, but that's not all I listen to, as you'll see all sorts of things pop up from time to time. I hear some Carcass flowing through my headphones right now, so I'll waste no time...

Carcass "Tools of the Trade" - Necroticism - Descanting the Insalubrious

One of Carcass's last real grindcore-influenced songs, from the primarily death metal album Necroticism, "Tools of the Trade" featured the more complex riffs found throughout the rest of the album, but also the simplistic speed and intensity of their earlier albums, as well as their then-signature double vocal attack, courtesy of bassist/frontman Jeff Walker and guitarist Bill Steer. Steer would no longer sing on any of the group's releases following Necroticism, but his guttural inflections wouldn't have fit on the more melodic material on Heartwork and Swansong. If you haven't heard Carcass before, this gives you a good glimpse at their earlier death-grind sound, while hinting at the maturity to come on their final two releases. Classic song, from a classic band.

Celtic Frost "Mesmerized" - Into the Pandemonium

From CF's most experimental album at the time, "Mesmerized" was the first CF song completely sung by bassist Martin Ain. One can hear the influence this song had on early 90's British doomsters like Paradise Lost, My Dying Bride and Anathema, as CF ditched the signature howling of Tom G. Warrior for a more tortured, melodic approach. The juxtaposition of arpeggiated clean guitar over grinding power chords in the verses was used by all 3 aforementioned bands, as well as later goth-metallers like Katatonia and Tiamat. Celtic Frost have influenced pretty much every extreme metal band in one way or another, as well as people like Dave Grohl (who used Tom G. Warrior as a vocalist on his Probot side project) and Kurt Cobain (who famously made a 2-sided tape to listen to in their touring van -- Side A were Beatles songs, side B had all Celtic Frost material). Never afraid to take chances, CF lost a lot of their fan base with glam-influenced Cold Lake, but one can't deny the success of experiments like "Mesmerized."

Ryan Adams and the Cardinals "/Promises/"- Live at The Norva - July 22, 2006

I was in attendance at this show, from Norfolk, VA. It was my first time seeing Ryan Adams, and he put on a 2-set, 3 hour show that showed a lot of rock, country and bluesy sides to Adams's music. The middle of the show got pretty mellow, and that's where this song came in. Sort of a country-ish ballad, "/Promises/" sounds a lot more powerful in the live setting, with more emphasis on the dynamics of the guitars and drums. Also, the harmonies between Adams and his live band are just beautifully executed in this performance. Also, I think I can hear myself yelling "Wooo!" before the very end of the song, so that's a plus. Highly recommended tune by Adams and the Cardinals.

Guns N' Roses "Shotgun Blues" - Use Your Illusion II

This is probably the most old-school-sounding track on UYI II, and features the immortal line, "And you, you can suck my ass!" It almost sounds out of place within the context of the rest of the album, my personal favorite by Guns, but as a standalone track, it rules, and goes well alongside anything on Appetite for Destruction. This was Axl Rose in his total, "I don't give a fuck about you, you fucking pussy" phase, and he literally says so many times throughout the song, taking away from some of the musical power by sounding cheesy and corny in his angst. You can feel that he totally means what he's saying, but that almost makes him sound worse, like a total dickhead that you don't want to listen to any more. Overall, though, it's a good song.

Shadows Fall "Fleshold" - Somber Eyes to the Sky

As I mentioned in a previous Random Ten, I love this debut album from Shadows Fall, and Phil Labonte sounds his most powerful on this sludgy riff-fest. Also re-recorded on their Century Media debut, Of One Blood, "Fleshold" is much better in this original version, as it features a nice vocal intro from guitarist Matt Bachand before erupting into a blood-pumping opening riff. This version also features an extra vocal harmony in the chorus, but does NOT have a guitar solo like the re-record, but that works better in this rawer state. Great, early hardcore-metal from Shadows Fall.

Venom "Disbeliever" - Resurrection

From a much more recent Venom release, Resurrection, "Disbeliever" actually doesn't suck. It's not great, by any means, but it's not awful either. Featuring a pretty catchy main riff, and a shout-along chorus that's up there with the best of cheesy Venom's past, "Disbeliever" features Cronos's signature vocal wail, and a decent production, for once. Halfway through the song, however, it gets weird when there's all of a sudden a bunch of crowd noise, trying to make this seem like a live track. It's stupid moves like that that make me remember that this band is famous for their missteps, and it's no surprise. Not a bad song, probably one of my favorite songs off of that album, but not essential by any means.

Faith No More "I Won't Forget You" - Who Cares a Lot? The Greatest Hits

This song is one of the more heavy, straight-forward rock songs from Faith No More. Patton sings and screams his ass off throughout the song, and the riffing and funky bass are not too zany or out there like on some FNM stuff, but they fit this kind of groovy, heavy song perfectly. Mike Bordin's drumming is top-notch, as always, and Billy Gould's main bass riff is infectious. Great song by an amazing band. Highly recommended.

Iron Maiden "The Number of the Beast" - A Real Dead One

From Iron Maiden's worst live album, this was actually the first version of this song I'd ever heard, and I was still impressed, even though Bruce Dickinson sounds like he's sleeping through the vocals, and Steve Harris's bass is WAY too loud (well, no shit, he mixed and produced the album). Sloppy as all hell, the band still shows a great deal of energy throughout this live cut from 1992's Fear of the Dark tour, coincidentally, also Dickinson's last tour with the band before re-joining in 1999. If you've never heard this song before, listen to the studio version first, but if you're a fan of Maiden and want to hear a different take on it, it's worth investigating, but pales in comparison to the versions on Live After Death and Rock in Rio. Hearing the song sing along with the spoken-word intro is pretty great, however, although Bruce also ruins that by doing some weird/creepy laugh on top of it. Maiden die-hard? Check it out. Casual fan? Skip it.

Katatonia "Passing Bird" - Last Fair Deal Gone Down

Anyone who knows my musical tastes knows that LFDGD (all the cool kids are abbreviating these days) is one of my top 10 favorite albums, of any music genre, ever. Katatonia made a hard rock/dark metal masterpiece that is subdued, musical, melodic and powerful all at once. There is not really a bad song on the album (I actually enjoy "We Must Bury You"), and "Passing Bird" is one of the more somber tunes. This album felt a lot more personal, for me, due to the more natural sounding production on the guitars and drums, and the lyrical subject matter, as well. Katatonia tended to previously sing a lot about death, dying, and the night, but on LFDGD, they wrote about people -- more specifically, women (and death, dying, the night, etc.). This song is a twisted love song of sorts, and I would say it's one of the best songs on the album, but it's hard to say that about a near-perfect album. The bending guitar riff in the song's bridge is one of my favorite riffs on the entire album. Definitely recommended for fans of innovative, dark, hard rock and metal.

U2 "Where the Streets Have No Name" The Best of 1980-1990

The opening track to one of the greatest rock albums ever, The Joshua Tree, "Where the Streets Have No Name" is, by and large, a pretty mellow song, both lyrically and musically. If you were to take this song and just play the guitar and the vocals, it'd practically be a ballad, but the production and build-up throughout the song is absolutely massive, and the pulsing bass and drums really make this one of the most powerful rock songs of all time. Bono absolutely belts it out, and Edge's guitar sounds so clear and precise, it's hard to comprehend. I could go on, but I don't think I know anyone who hasn't heard this song. You either love U2 or you don't, and if you do, you love this song.

Finally, a little bit of diversity on the Random Ten. Okay, it was a decent amount of metal, but every band and song on this week's list is distinct and unique. Keep your eyes on the blog for my upcoming review of Chinese Democracy, the new album by Guns N' Roses.

Matt Steele

The Simpsons Project #2

Simpsons Project: Case #2 (Season 1, Episode 2)
Bart the Genius
Original airdate: 1/14/90

Welcome back for another installment of The Simpsons Project. Today we take a look at the second episode of The Simpsons, “Bart the Genius”. Whereas “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” provided a pretty-much perfect introduction to the family, “Bart the Genius” focuses on, you guessed it, Bart. Though this episode takes the first steps in establishing the Bart character as something more than the Devil’s cabana boy (as Lisa once termed him), it also gives us our first glimpse at the relationship between Bart and Homer.

We begin “Bart the Genius” with Bart and his school hood chums spray-painting an unflattering caricature of Principal Skinner on the wall of the school (I’m quite sure this marks the first appearances of Milhouse van Houten and Martin Prince, though they may have been background characters in the first episode). Martin, the school nerd, blows the whistle on Bart, but before he can be punished he is ushered off to class to take a scholastic aptitude test.

Edna Krabappel, Bart’s fourth grade teacher, begins her longstanding tradition of sarcastic comments and backhanded remarks in this episode, and she has the funniest lines in it. Bart, as would be expected, struggles with the exam, while Martin finishes early. Bart swaps his exam with Martin’s as revenge for telling on him earlier.

Bart has a “dream sequence” while taking the test in which he tries to visualize one of those train math problems (“one train leaves Phoenix at 6:15, the other leaves St. Louis at 7:45…”). In addition to being one of the off-beat animation sequences the early days of The Simpsons were loaded with, it does well to give us a look at Bart’s psyche. Bart does want to succeed, and he’s ashamed when he fails. As we see throughout the series, when Bart is properly motivated and puts in the effort, he can accomplish great things. While taking the test, he tries to figure out the problem, and is frustrated by how hopeless he is in solving it.

Bart is brought into Skinner’s office for the purpose of expelling him. Luckily for Bart, the school guidance counselor, Dr. Pryor, interrupts the meeting. Bart’s test scores have come in, and he’s a certified genius! Skinner wants Bart retested, but Pryor will have none of it. Arrangements are made to move Bart from Springfield Elementary to the Enriched Learning Center for Gifted Children.

Bart’s new school is one of those new-age institutions where students do as much work as they please, work on whatever assignments they want, and generally call the shots. At first, this method greatly pleases Bart, but he soon discovers that he can’t keep up. He’s soon exposed when the other students go into discussions about free will and start performing medical experiments on hamsters. Compounded with that, the other students take advantage of him for not being as smart as they are. Bart is soon miserable.

One of the interesting themes in this episode is the relationship between Bart and Homer. In the beginning, the family is playing Scrabble, and Bart creates his famous made-up word, Kwyjibo. Kwyjibo, of course, is defined as a balding North American ape, a clear knock at Homer. Homer is seen as constantly furious with Bart, while Bart holds no respect for his father. Throughout this episode, due to Bart’s intellectual misdiagnosis, we see a change in that relationship. Homer is courteous to Bart and shows him true affection. In a scene where the family attends the opera, Bart and Homer crack each other up by making continuous jokes about the performers and doing armpit farts. Later, they play catch together at twilight. At this point, 20 years later, we know there’s true affection and love between the two, but at this point in the series, we weren’t necessarily sure.

But all good things must come to an end. Bart is truly exposed when a chemical experiment goes awry and blows up the school. He returns to Springfield Elementary to explain himself, but rather than continue the lie, he admits the truth. Though he knows it may cause his relationship with Homer to revert back to “normal”, Bart is miserable in the new school and tired of living a lie. Homer reacts to the news with his usual good humor (the episode ends with him chasing a naked Bart with an axe), and things end the way they started.

This is a tremendous episode with a lot of funny lines and dialogue. Principal Skinner and Ms. Krabappel are both gold here, basically insulting Bart at every turn. The show really started firing on all cylinders right away, and it wouldn’t stop for roughly ten years. This is one of the best episodes of season 1.

A

“Now I don’t want you to worry, class. These tests will have no affect on your grades. They merely determine your future social status and financial success…if any.” – Ms. Krabbappel


John Lacey