The Random Ten #26

1) Pink Floyd – “On The Run” – The Dark Side Of The Moon (1973)

Well, this is a good start. It’s difficult and somewhat pointless to dissect individual songs on The Dark Side Of The Moon since they’re all supposed to work together, but “On The Run” might best be described as a sonic maelstrom. There’s so much going on here. The Dark Side Of The Moon is an album that reflected the alienation and detachment that many young people felt from the world around them in the early 1970s and no song on the record epitomizes that better than “On The Run”. The looping drones periodically build themselves into blasts that sound like attacking combat helicopters, maniacal laughter lends a sinister foreboding to the track, and the whole exercise ends with an abrupt explosion of noise. It’s quite a brave way for the band to begin what would be their magnum opus.

2) moe. – “Any Colour You Like” – Live: Philadelphia, PA 10/31/00 (2000; not an official release)

We go from the real deal to a cover. moe. played the entire Dark Side Of The Moon album during their 2000 Halloween show in Philadelphia. It’s interesting to hear the style differences between the two bands playing the same material back to back. No one would mistake moe. for Pink Floyd, but they do an admirable job with “Any Colour You Like”, incorporating just enough of their jammy playfulness without distracting from or overpowering the essence of the original. The sound quality is quite good, and the excited cheers of the audience provide a nice touch of importance to the song. This is worth tracking down and checking out if you’re a fan of either band.

3) Bruce Springsteen – “Trouble River” – 18 Tracks (1999)

18 Tracks is a condensing of a 1998 four-disc rarities box set simply called Tracks. This single disc was meant to appeal to more casual Bruce fans that would rather opt for one CD rather than shell out for the more expensive deluxe edition. “Trouble River” was originally recorded in 1990 for the Human Touch (1992) album but ended up on the cutting-room floor. It’s one of three songs on 18 Tracks that did not also appear on the Tracks box set.

There’s a nice, steady downbeat on “Trouble River” and an excellent guitar solo in the middle, but the song lacks Springsteen’s normal ferociousness. It’s a little bland, and would probably sound out of place if released on a studio album. It’s a very, very strong b-side, however, and it’s indicative of the quality work on Springsteen’s proper records that this didn’t make the cut. “Trouble River” makes me want to take a closer listen to Human Touch, Lucky Town (1992), and some of the other stuff he was doing at the time.

4) String Cheese Incident – “Mauna Bowa” – On The Road: Louisville, KY 4/17/02 (2002; live album)

We discussed the version of “Mauna Bowa” from Carnival ’99 (2000) in The Random Ten #16, but since this is a different live performance, we’ll take another listen to it. I also swear that I don’t listen to this much moe. and String Cheese Incident. It seems like every time I write one of these columns, both groups show up. iTunes must be randomizing to suit the tastes of 2003 John Lacey.

I do love this song, though. Michael Kang’s violin is the driving force for the track, which is also helped by the galloping bass line. “Mauna Bowa” is sunny, rustic, charming, and fun. Jam bands with more classic instruments can be hemmed in by that because those instruments create a readily identifiable southern-country hoe-down sound that can wear on the nerves. Those instruments can sometimes, however, create a lightness and playfulness that’s often missing from the music of rock-oriented jam bands. “Mauna Bowa” shows how those other bands can suffer for not having that extra dimension.

5A) Bone Thugs-N-Harmony – “Friends” – The Art Of War (1997)

Covered in Random Ten #23. Next.

5B) Death Angel – “Disturbing The Peace” – Act III (1990)

Death Angel was a second or third tier thrash band in terms of popularity, active in the 80s and early 90s and then reuniting in 2001. Act III is considered their finest album by fans and critics.

Death Angel and other technical speed metal bands of the day had a truly great sense of melody. Like Megadeth and Metallica, they knew how to appropriately build to choruses, they know how and when to incorporate small note changes from one guitar riff to the next, and they truly knew how to write songs. There’s a reason (beyond metal being somewhat of a mainstream 80s fad) that thrash bands were on major labels and sold a lot of records.

I like the snarling vocals and all, but sometimes I wish these tracks were instrumental. The musicianship is so creative and strong that the yelping vocals are almost a distraction from the other things going on. “Disturbing The Peace” is a great hidden thrash gem from a band little-known outside metal circles.

6) Guided By Voices – “Bright Paper Werewolves” – Under The Bushes Under The Stars (1996)

Guided By Voices are a very influential and highly-regarded indie-rock group prone to writing very short songs and singing about very weird topics. When they want to (as indicated by their greatest hits compilation, Human Amusements At Hourly Rates [2003]), they can really write great fully-formed songs, but they’re usually content to play solid melodies in very short increments.

“Bright Paper Werewolves” runs 1:16, but the band squeezes great melody and vocals into that timeframe. Singer Robert Pollard sings with raspy passion, especially for the song’s final verse. His lyrics are full of imagery and life, and there’s an elegant simplicity to the way they’re assembled, even if you don’t know what he’s singing about. Great stuff; like always, I wish it was longer.

7) Grateful Dead – “Tom Dooley” – Beyond Description (2004; Beyond Description is a box set of remastered Grateful Dead albums and additional outtakes. The song was originally recorded at the time of Reckoning [1981])

“Tom Dooley” is a traditional North Carolina folk song made famous by the Kingston Trio in 1958. Reckoning was an acoustic live album from the Dead released in 1981, and the song sounds right at home amidst the other material on that record. It’s a pretty standard Grateful Dead folk number, featuring great guitar work and vocal melodies from Jerry Garcia and company. I guess I know why the Grateful Dead are known primarily for their space-rock noodle jams, but they were a truly accomplished country folk group as well, and maybe more people would drop their preconceptions of the band and be open to listening to them if they were familiar with songs like “Tom Dooley”.

8) Wilco – “Outta Mind (Outta Sight)” – Being There (1996)

“Outta Mind (Outta Sight)” is the pseudo-acoustic inverse of another song on Being There, “Outtasite (Outta Mind)”. “Outtasite” appears on disc one and is much more of a rocker, while “Outta Mind” blends into the more laid-back tone of the second disc of the record.

It’s always interesting to hear different versions of the same song, but “Outta Mind (Outta Sight)” sounds superfluous. There’s another, better version of the song on the same album, one that squeezes basically all it can out of the vocals and progressions. There’s not much more to say within the same framework. This version gamely tries to make a different statement, but it ends up sounding like something that would make a great live rarity rather than a studio track.

9) Iced Earth – “The Pierced Spirit” – Burnt Offerings (1995)

Iced Earth is a thrash/power metal hybrid that often incorporates dramatic and theatrical themes into their work. They’ve released several concept records: The Dark Saga (1996) was about the Spawn comic book character, Horror Show (2001) was about monsters and horror film characters, and The Glorious Burden (2004) concerned the American Civil War.

Burnt Offerings was released before any of the aforementioned records and sees the band as a more straightforward metal outfit. “The Pierced Spirit” is meant as an interlude before the album’s centerpiece, a twenty-minute song influenced and named after Dante’s Inferno. It’s a simple piano and acoustic guitar track meant to build tension and emotion before the explosion of the “Dante’s Inferno” track. It’s not much on its own, but it works in the context of the record.

10) Belle & Sebastian – “Mary Jo” – Tigermilk (1996)

My roommate and I joke about how Belle & Sebastian might be the pussiest indie pop-rock group ever because they have a song called “I Don’t Want To Play Football”, which might be tongue-in-cheek but is hilarious to laugh at anyway. Tigermilk is their highly-regarded debut album, and “Mary Jo” is the final track from the record.

I’m happy to report that this song is a winner. There’s a definite Ben Folds vibe here, as the group gently sings about a girl in denial about getting older over a soft piano/acoustic guitar background. The lyrics are outstanding, and suit the music greatly: “Mary Jo, living alone / Drinking gin with the telly on / She wants the night to follow day and back again / She doesn’t want to sleep / Well, who could blame her if she wants?” The protagonist is lonely and pathetic, but the music provides a hope that things may turn around for her. It works well, and now I don’t think “I Don’t Want To Play Football” is quite so funny anymore.

John Lacey

Commercially Viable - Miller Lite

I like drinking Miller Lite. Then again, I like drinking shitty, domestic swill. I don’t have any particular affinity for Miller Lite. I don’t care about its vortex bottleneck, its wide-mouth can, or whatever half-assed gimmick they came up with this month to sell more beer. Miller Lite, to me, could just as easily be Bud Light, or Budweiser, or Coors Light, or any other low-rent light beer. They’re all pretty much the same: cold, cheap, and watered down.

That’s what makes Miller Lite’s perpetual “manliness” ad campaign so frustrating. There have been about a thousand of these ads thus far, and the premise is always the same. A man is confronted with a choice between Miller Lite and another, unnamed light beer. The man says he doesn’t care which beer he drinks. The bartender, always gorgeous, chastises him for his indecisiveness, and then we get the big comedic reveal, where the man is shown to be “unmanly” because he was crying on a rollercoaster or texting or, as in the above ad, wearing skinny jeans. Usually, the man is sheepishly shown drinking a Miller Lite at the end of the ad while his dipshit friends and more inexplicably hot women giggle at him.

Let’s watch the ad. The Art Garfunkel/Seth Rogen/John C. Reilly hybrid-looking guy orders a “light beer”. I’m pretty sure there’s never been anyone in the history of drinking who has placed an order for an unspecified light beer. Even though they all taste the same, a person would at least blurt out a brand name. This would be akin to walking into a Subway and asking for a “sandwich”.

She, of course, is ready for this, and holds up two beers (Miller Lite and generic “Light Beer”), asking him if he’d prefer “more taste or less taste”. Why wouldn’t she just give him the beer with more taste? Who says Miller Lite actually does have more taste? And what kind of bartender asks that fucking question?

When posted with the eternal more taste/less taste query, shithead here actually says “I don’t care”. I know we’ve established that his order of any light beer and her response with “More taste or less taste?” are both completely implausible and never would happen. But if this sequence of events were to actually unfold, wouldn’t you just ask for the beer with more taste? I know the idea of Miller Lite actually having more taste is completely unproven and unscientific, but if some knockout bartender is asking you which beer you want and implying that one is better than the other, and you don’t really care which one you drink anyway, wouldn’t you just ask for the Miller?

These problems annoy me far more than the lame punch line, which has doofus dressed in skinny jeans. He’s unmanly, you see, and that’s why he didn’t order the Miller Lite! He’s not worthy of it! Of course, because being shamed by one beautiful woman isn’t enough, there’s another ten sitting adjacent to him (somehow completely alone in a crowded bar) to really twist the knife in. The opposite of hilarity (depression?) ensues.

We go through the whole “Miller Lite! Yeah!” portion, and then we get perhaps my least favorite joke in the history of commercials. Having finally learned the lesson of never being not manly, our hero approaches his friends with a bucket of Miller Lite. He then asks them, “The score still 21-32?” A friend responds, “Yeah, just like your jean size”.

Ahem.

- No one with even a passing knowledge of or interest in sports would ever read off the score backwards like that. Other than children under the age of six or an adult who has legitimately never watched a sporting event in his or her life, people do not do that.
- The assholes who wrote this commercial knew this, and certainly could have come up with another joke to fit the scene that actually made sense, but chose the lazy route anyway.
- These same assholes got paid to write this.
- The joke fucking sucks.

This commercial in particular is bottom-of-the-barrel stuff, but all of the recent Miller Lite ads take the same approach, and they’re all terrible. If someone is drinking a Miller Lite, that person wouldn’t care if it was a Bud Light or a Coors Light. One doesn’t have more taste than the other, we don’t give a shit about bottle grooves or color-changing labels, and a man is not an effeminate loser, no matter what he drinks (except maybe Tab). These commercials are like the perfect storm of misguided broseph humor and genuine incompetence.